Thursday, 1 April 2010

The time to save you...

I must pre-warn you that this story of events is pretty morbid, and not going to be easy reading, so if you wish avert your eyes and leave if you wish now...

* * * * * 

When I first started trying to think of something to do this weeks Writing Workshop on, from the topics listed, all I could think of was the first one - what I'd do in a "free" hour, and I knew then what I'd want to do in an ideal world where I could have an hour... I'd wish I had the time to save one of my Mother's best friends.  I'd been thinking of her and another person I knew who passed before their time, just yesterday, before looking at these topics.  I still don't know if I'll post this or not, but Livi said to me on Twitter perhaps it will be therapeutic for me to do so, so I'm giving it a go.  Whether it shall be submitted is something I won't know until I finish and look back at it all.

My mother's friend was sadly taken from us in 2006, by a man she thought was a friend of hers.  She was wrong.  He was an animal.  He took her from us in a horrific attack and buried her body in his garden after prizing her rings from her fingers.  I won't go into great details about what he did to her and just say that the pathologist stated her injuries were like a climber may have suffered after a mountain fall. He is pure evil.  A monster. However, I am thankful that justice is being served and that man is currently rotting in jail for 14 years for her horrific murder.

She was a tortured lady, with many problems, which had led her to the path of alcoholism.  She was lovely, kind and really funny too!  Everybody liked her, and she seemed to just get on with everybody.  I don't think she was the type to be wary of others... she was too kind and at the time, a very vulnerable person.  

I remember her before the alcohol took great effect on her life.  She was such a joy!  Both my mother and I worked with her in the same place at the time, and she was such fun!  She went off travelling for a while, working abroad, living the "good life".  However she came back changed, and her life altered.  I'm not sure if she was a big drinker before going abroad, but think she may have been - but it hadn't taken hold of her life then.

The best memory I have of her, is my Mother and I going to her house for haircuts one day.  I have masses of thick hair, and she cut it to my shoulders.  There was a lot of hair chopped off that day.  When she had finished and brushed it up into a pile - it looked just like a long haired guinea pig sat on her livingroom carpet!!  We laughed so much at that... it really did look just like one!  She took a photograph of this "guinea pig" and she gave me a copy of the photograph a while later.  When I think of her, this is what I still think of first... then how she's no longer with us and the reasons why hit me like a brick.  She's forever gone.

If I had a spare hour in this universe, I'd spend it on her.  It wasn't her time.  She should have had time to overcome her addictions, and to finally be happy... I wish she'd have been able to find her peace in life, instead of in death as I feel, if there is something else out there after life, then she will be happy there, and untroubled and finally free from her burdens she had in life.  

In my free hour I'd have been there, stopping her from entering that animals house.  I don't care what I'd have had to do to stop her, but I would have spent that hour doing my damndest to prevent her from making the biggest, and ultimately final mistake in her troubled life.  She deserved better.  She deserved LIFE.

Rest in peace lovely one... you may be gone, but you'll never be forgotten.

L x

* * * * *

I really did find this therapeutic to write about this... she was a wonderful lady and I was only just thinking of her again yesterday. I think of her often, and she'll forever be in my heart.  Sometimes I'll see someone in the street and think "Oh it's ...." then remember it can't be her.  Sometimes I'll think I hear her in a crowd, then sadly a split second or two later realise I'm wrong.

This subject may be something a lot of people would never talk about, but why not?  I'm going to post this, as why should murder be a taboo type subject?  Unfortunately in this cruel world we inhabit, murder happens.  If you're lucky you'll never be affected by it... and I hope you never are.  


  1. This is why we write our blogs in my opinion. Well done you for writing it down and glad it helped you. Thanx for sharing

    **Btw your twitter button is messed up and throws up a window every time I open your web page to comment

  2. I'm glad you decided to post this and I hope you feel better for doing so.

    It's so sad when people are taken from us too soon and I am sorry for you loss x x

  3. oh bless you. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I'm glad you found it therapeutic to write.
    I hope you don't beat yourself up about this because sadly there is nothing you could have done. *hugs*

  4. Wow, what a powerful, raw message. How lovely are you to want to take that hour and give it to someone else, to save their life?
    I'm glad it was theurepuetic for you to write this. It must have been a horrible thing to experience.

  5. what a very sad story - I really hope writing about it helped you xx

  6. How sad, but what a lovely tribute to her memory. Thanks for sharing.

  7. Beautiful post and movingly written. Hope you feel better getting it all out and a great insight into a wonderful woman who was maybe too trusting of others?

  8. The post is beautiful and you are right, we should talk about these things more openly. As a nation we struggle to talk about illness and death and murder etc. Maybe if we all talked about it more it would make it easier for everyone. The only certainty in life, is death, and yet we try to ignore the subject! Not saying we should be morbid, but talking about death be it medical or murder, shouldnt be a taboo.

  9. Thank you ladies.

    I'm really glad I decided to post it.

    She'll never be forgotten.